Alzheimer's Reading Room: Dotty Says, You Won't Believe This

Alzheimer's Reading Room: Dotty Says, You Won't Believe This

Thankful for responses!

My son Lee is Mom’s oldest grandchild, and he and I went to visit her one morning recently. We had an interesting conversation following the visit.

What we noticed was how alert Mom still is, even though she is unable to communicate very well verbally. When we arrived, Mom was still in bed. She does not like getting up out of her cozy, warm nest, and she does not mind letting the caregiver know exactly how she feels. So I went in to speak to her, thinking I would wake her up gently. Even when she looked up and saw me, her beloved daughter instead of one of the other ladies, she was not happy. She was nice but not overjoyed. I told her I would get her a cup of coffee, and then I left her room.

Evidently she used all her politeness on me because she looked like she was “fit to be tied” when she was rolled into the living room in her wheelchair. We could almost see sparks as she looked around, so angry she was ready to throw something!

Yet when her eyes fell on Lee and me, her demeanor changed almost immediately. The anger in her eyes left instantly, and she smiled at us, looking genuinely glad to see us. I believe it was Lee’s presence that brought about the warmth in her reception. They have always had a special relationship, and his conversational tone has a calming effect on her.

So, what is encouraging at this point in the journey we are all on with Mom is the connectedness she still possesses. She does reach out to us, and we are able to stay in touch with her, even though it might not be in the way we would have planned for this stage of our lives together. Of course, we would love to have her around the piano singing with us. But since we cannot, at least she is still responding with smiles, arched- eyebrow expressions, chuckles, and touch. Some sentences, though short, are perfectly logical and easily understood; some are not. But we still have our Mom responding to us at 86, and for this we are thankful!

More Pics and Good Looks

I just came into possession of some pictures of some very handsome young men with their beautiful grandmother and great-grandmother. I have to share because they are too cute to keep to myself. If you don't know, Mom gave birth to FIVE girls; then when it was time for grandchildren, she ended up with six boys and two girls. Now we have added three great-grandchildren to the clan, one of whom is a boy. So here are some to enjoy.



Above is Ricky (Diane's older son)with his arm around his Baba. The second picture was taken when Rodney (Diane's younger son) took his son Case to visit Mom. Love and kisses to all!

On Saturday I went to see Mom for a little while. After a good visit in which she called me by my name, I left more light-hearted than usual. As I drove away my heart was singing...


She knew me and she called me by my name
Oh, she knew me and she called me by my name
Sometimes she tries but just can't say my name
And then things aren't at all the same
But TODAY...
She knew me and she called me by my name!

For the record, my heart was singing to the tune of "If You're Happy and You Know It." Loving our Mom--she still brightens our day!

We have many pictures!

Since I successfully uploaded one of Vicky's pictures, I suppose I can do it with many. Well, I will only post a few today. Kayla and Addison went with us to celebrate Mom's birthday back in March. There was a whole lotta kissin' goin' on that day!

This past Saturday Keith and I went to see Mom. We all have learned that the earlier we go to visit the better. Mom is much more alert early in the day than later on. Perhaps it is the medications she receives, but the difference is very noticeable. She can hardly keep her eyes open later in the afternoon, even after she has had a nap. She just keeps on trying to go back to sleep.

But this particular Saturday, she wanted to know why I was so late getting there and where I had been. Felt as if I had been scolded. I told her I was sorry I was late and I'd try to do better next time. Later on, after having stared at my feet for a minute or two, she told me I had forgot something. I asked her if it was my toenails (they were not painted), and she nodded "yes." We both chuckled a little about that. I said I just had not had time to get everything done.

We sat outside because it was warmer than indoors with the a/c. When we got ready to leave, I hugged Mom and told her I would see her soon. She lifted her head, looked directly at me, and said, "When?" So I told her "maybe this afternoon?" and that seemed to be all right with her.

At this point she is not always capable of calling our names correctly, but you can tell she knows who we are by the things she says to us. There was no doubt when Keith walked up that she knew him. All in all, it was a nice Saturday-morning visit. Love our mama!

This comes from Vicky's email, with which she included pics. I will endeavor to upload one of them.


We needed some girl time this week-end so we spent Saturday together. We missed Dianee but she was VERY busy with her reunion activities. We had lunch at Nan's house and Kacy joined us for that. Then, we went to see Aunt Patsy and were blown away by how well she is doing! Woke her up and visited for a while. We went on to see Mom and wish our visit with her had gone as well. It was just okay. Love our momma and wish she had been in a talking mood.

Thought you might enjoy looking in on our day....Love to all,
Vicky Jean

It is getting more and more difficult to write this blog. I guess that’s obvious.

Here is a sample of what things are like lately. Nancy sent me an email saying,

I called and spoke to Joyce, and she said Mom has been good the
last few days. She said she actually had a real...and big… full-mouthed smile a few times, and that she has been talking more. Once she even made Joyce laugh. Sweet huh!

I forgot to tell ya'll about a conversation that I had with Joyce a few weeks ago. It was after the day that Vick and I were there trying to help Mom into her chair and having a hard time, and Vick and I both got upset and cried a little. Joyce was concerned and wanted us to know that they try to let her do stuff (regarding moving around) but that it is getting harder. Sometimes they even have to use the lift. (Mom is afraid of it!) Joyce says she doesn't like to and will always try to do what is best for Mom....of course. I told her we trust her and know she has Mom's best interest at heart. We were just upset at seeing Mom struggle.

And so it goes. We love seeing Mom on the days she is alert and knows we are her daughters. But we practically drag ourselves to the car after the visits when she is unresponsive or half asleep. We try to be encouraged; we try to stay upbeat; yet it’s becoming much more difficult. We love our Mother!