If I Had Known Then....

Our sister, Diane, is sharin' today:

As a child I remember my grandmother repeating the same stuff over and over. Each visit to the nursing home found her deteriorating both mentally and physically. I remember thinking, “This is what happens to old people.”

Now, as an adult, I have experienced firsthand three loved ones’ being stricken with Alzheimer’s Disease: my father-in-law, my mother-in-law, and now my own mother.

There seems to be a similarity that occurs with each one, slowly taking away their abilities to think and speak, as each stage progresses: the onset of paranoia, sundowning, up most of the night wandering, and the physical problems associated with walking (shuffling), balance, incontinence, fear of bathing, etc. As a caretaker, it is most important to keep your loved ones’ surroundings “as is.” Don’t make changes.

My experiences have taught me many things, but the one thing that I would like to share (since this is a sharin’ site) is that you, as a caretaker (and loved one), have to program your mind and heart that this disease will take over control of the patient’s brain.

One of the hardest times I have faced so far was when my mother-in-law spoke to me as if she were an angry sailor. Her words were harsh and hurtful. Someone who was once a sweet, Sunday-school teacher had become angry and mean. Now my mother, too, has brought me to tears with her angry words. But as difficult as it is, I must keep in mind that two minutes will pass, and she will not remember what she said.

You should teach yourself something that will help you get past these moments: count to ten, take a deep breath, smile, look up, and say, “O.K., Lord, what’s next on the agenda?”

Thanks, Dianee, for sharin' your heart and giving some good advice. Love ya!